It seems to be that we are forever trying to escape our emotions, trying to find the cure for whatever discomfort we feel. Trying to remedy the discord of our emotional state. We tend to look outside of ourselves for the answers, we look to distract ourselves, ignore, and bury our burdens. For a short time, this seems to satisfy our problems. Then some small instance triggers an onslaught of what we’ve buried. All rushes to the surface and we are left manic trying to cope or blame what it is that bothers us. Consider instead, if as our emotions arrived, we honored and listened to them. Imagine if as each emotion came into our experience, we felt our poison to our last drop and realized it was the very medicine we seek?
I spent most of my teenage and early adult life angry, frustrated and ready to blame any issue that would come to the forefront.
Don’t lash out.
I’d lash out on my loved ones, Id place the blame on how I was feeling for the first person that triggered whatever I was upset about. Using my words I’d look to bring anyone down to the level I was feeling, deserving or not deserving. Over time, where I thought I was gaining respect, I was really just instilling fear in people around me. The truth was, when I rest my head at night, I still felt bad if not worse than I had originally. Probably most of my day was spent in constant frustration and all’s I had to shore for it was exhaustion. I hurt and pushed away a lot of people by using my anger as a weapon disguised as a quality of strength. I lost friends, I created walls no love could penetrate. My constant anger, crept into every aspect of my life. Working in restaurants it affected my finances, in my personal life I was left alone, I ruined friendships I had since childhood. My mother and some of my closest and best friends always saw the good in me, trying constantly to ease my moods, often becoming the scapegoat for every frustration. To me, it didn’t matter how the world viewed me, I didn’t care what people thought of my actions, I didn’t even care about how I saw myself. I was becoming numb, a prisoner to myself.
When I started doing self-work and exploring myself through meditation I would receive a glimpse of what I was doing to myself, but I still couldn’t get the full picture. The deeper I went, the more was revealed to me. I remember attending one meditation retreat, focused on accepting ourselves where I came face to face with all of my anger. As I sat deeply in a guided meditation I was nauseous with emotion. Welling up in my throat was years of buried Hell. Uncomfortable and afraid I was starting to see all the ugliness inside of me for what it was. That’s when the release happened, almost as if I had emotionally vomited up all the angst and anger in one fell swoop. Tears were rolling down my cheeks, my body was overheating and I was releasing years of baggage kept hidden in my emotional body. After about an hour of resonating with my experience, something powerfully beautiful happened, I felt blissful, like a child experiencing the world for the first time. Most importantly, I felt liberated from all the pain I had once harbored.
Yes, your emotions are warped.
As individuals, we have a warped sense of our emotions. We believe they are a byproduct of whatever happens to us. In reality, they are the way we react to what happens to us. If we delve deeper, we can realize that our emotions are intelligent messengers that allow us the opportunity to witness ourselves more honestly and clearly. We are quick to accept and dismiss positive emotions and linger on negative emotions. It feels as though our negative emotions are far more powerful than the moments of pure joy we feel. When I recognize the root of whatever emotion I’m feeling it makes it easier to deal with them and let them go. In turn, I then no longer have to hold on to what I’m feeling and/or look to place them on someone or something.
Discovering the root of our emotions is far more simple than it may seem. As each feeling arises, sit and look at what it’s offering. Witness what lead up to whatever your feeling. If we become lazy and irresponsible for what we feel, then we find that we either blame or miss important information our emotional body is offering. The uncomfortable truth is, the only way to release and let go of your feelings, is to go through them. Often, our way of life teaches strength in ways of moving forward by disregarding how we feel. We believe it is a weakness to cry, get angry, or to feel anything at all. The error with this philosophy is that our emotional response becomes ignored and hidden to deal with more intensely at a later time. To cry when you’re sad, to feel your anger and not act on it when your angry, is paramount to releasing and overcoming whatever you may feel. On the opposite side of your every sadness or anger, is pure unfiltered bliss. Dedicate time to feel, not act, but truly feel whatever arises. Try not to attribute meaning or look for reasons, just simply observe. There’s no need to rush, just feel your emotions to their very last drop and see what you may find.
I use the tools often I mentioned above, almost every day. I have found through my experience, that my negative emotions burn their fuse out almost as quickly as they arrive. I can see in myself how I accept what happens to me and what I feel more simply, and daily stresses or anxieties seem easier to handle. That’s not to say I don’t get frustrated, angry or sad, we are human beings after all and part of life is experiencing our emotions and understanding how to cope with them. I’ve found that by simply taking the time to feel and not act, I’m able to understand more of my authentic identity. Every aspect of my life benefits from this practice, my relationships are healthy because I understand what I’m feeling and offer space for others to feel, confrontations with others are handled in a more gentle way, I have more energy overall, I feel calm most of the time. What we feel we are missing in life, is most often a better connection to ourselves.
Be accountable and respect your emotions as they are trying to show you something. Remember that it’s okay to cry, it’s okay to be angry, that is part of the beauty that makes up who we are. We are so alive, we get to feel things. You aren’t an angry person, you’re a person who gets angry. You aren’t a sad person you’re a person who gets sad. There’s no need to grasp an emotion and identify with it. Feel it fully, let it go.